Are we that shallow?

A good friend commented today that i should write again. And it so happen that i had just finished watching my weekend favourite show “SAREGAMAPA 2009 Challenge”. It is a yearlong, Hindi singing competition which airs on Zee Tv, channel 108 in astro every Saturday and Sunday at 730pm. If you know me, you will know that i love singing to all sorts of music as long as i like the tune, which explains why i don’t really enjoy hard metal and certain technos. And i dare say that , among all types of songs ie English, Malay, Tamil, Chinese, Indonesian etc, the most difficult songs to sing, are Hindi songs. The vocal range is exceptionally high, and low....therefore, those who can belt a hindi song perfect, to me, you are definitely talented.

Anyway, coming back to SAREGAMAPA, my favourite contestant is Debojit Dutta, from Kolkata , West Bengal. Your first impression of him ie when you look at him, might not be very good meaning appearance wise, he will probably not get your vote. But when he opens his mouth to sing, when you see the emotions he displays on his face to suit each song that he sings, when you see his innocence, when you see his excitement, when you realize that he is a bit quirky and not very normal but is able to sing perfectly every song that he sings, he will get more than your vote...he will earn your respect. He definitely earned mine. =D...I am a fan of Debojit Dutta.
Among all the contestants, he was my favourite from the beginning and i was following the program quite religiously because of him. But today, he was eliminated, leaving 4 more contestants to compete for the title of the best singer. It broke my heart. Too emotional you might say, but it hurt because i realize why he lost. He got the least among votes by people all over India, because people failed to recognize his talent but they were focussing more on his appearance. IT broke my heart. Such a talented singer who never failed even once to get rave and applause from the judges (who are established singers like Shankar Mahadevan, Himesh Reshamiya, Aadesh Shrivastav and Pritam, (the former 2, very very talented established singers and the latter 2, established music directors). In fact, i think he is the only contestant who has got standing applause from the crowd and got judges to run up to the stage to congratulate him. That is how good he is.
Today, he was eliminated. No offence, the remaining 4 are equally good but, i dare say that Debojit is the most consistent and can sing a song with no mistakes in his sur and taal...the judges have even said from the beginning that even if he doesn’t win the competition, he has already reserved his spot in the industry. To see him get eliminated because of shallow opinions, and “sad” mindsets, is a pity. Despite countless quotations and so called fables that tell people to not judge a book by its cover, people still do it. The good example in Malaysia would be, Mawi winning Academy Fantasia and Zahid winning instead of the very talented Bob. Sad but its the truth. We claim to appreciate talent but when we have to choose, we pick appearance, beauty over the actual talent. When will we change? I think it is about time, right? Oh and women, please stop voting for men on shows like AF and Malaysian Idol and so on just because they are cute and cuddly etc. It shows just how " not smart" and bimbo like some of us can be. I use to wonder why men never believed that a woman would watch or appreciate soccer or football for what it is. When i said i supported Liverpool, the reply was ," i am sure you think Gerard is cute, right?" . Now i know.......

On another note, today was a day of weddings. 1st wedding was at Sheraton Subang, a gud friend's wedding, which i wasnt able to really attend since the 2nd wedding was at Bukit Beruntung, a friend/colleague's wedding. So, i went to see the bride of the 1st wedding in her room, passed her the gift, my hugs and wishes, and made my way to the 2nd wedding. Spent quite a bit of time there. It was fun. Then, the thought of making my way to the 3rd wedding ceased all together. Too tired by then.....

"1st of January 2009 is looming ahead. It is time that i stop IT. Stop hoping. But i want to tell you before i move on that, if i act weirdly or strangely after this , please understand that pretending your non-existence is my strategy to move on. I need to do this FOR ME. I cant hope anymore. I can't battle emotions any longer because ive been drained of all energy just doing that for the past 8 months. Wondering what your actions mean, the sudden ignorance, the sudden burst of energy, your sudden sweetness, then the ignorance again, and me reacting to every one of the above which iincludes me ignoring you suddenly, trying to not look your way when you look at me......ALL THESE needs to stop. I have NO MORE energy to serve these thoughts. A few very close people know how i feel, and how much ive put aside my pride and ego for you. And even now, at this point, i can say that i might probably never get over you totally but at least i am going to start trying. Wish me luck!"

Goodnight!

1 Tree Hill Reruns, Aidilfitri, Takbir Raya, New Oven.....

Allaaahu Akbar Allaaahu Akbar Allaaaaahu Akbar. Laaaa ilahaillallaaa hu Allaaaahu Akbar.......

Thats the sound of the takbir on the tv. The difference with last year? --> I heard it with my own ears and it sounded like a rhythm...the best melody you can possibly hear.....i grew up 22 years in a house, sorta opposite the mosque, where waking up on a raya morning didnt require my mum yelling in my ears because i use to wake up to the sounds of the takbir........then, we shifted.....and i could still hear it but it wasnt as loud and clear and faded once the traffic started. This year? None :(....why? coz i am stuck in Kuantan....oh well, they say , make the best out of what you have........and kalau kerja itu adalah satu jenis ibadat, then, i takleh nak complain right?

Which brings me to the next interesting story.....or at least interesting to me.......i just purchased an oven......I'm sure some people might say, what is so interesting about an oven.....well, one thing, it is my oven.....and 2nd, i just used it to bake a cake, where the recipe was a mumbo jumbo of 2 recipes and it worked! =D.......well, the idea to bake the cake stemmed from the guilty feeling of going into office with nothing in my hand for raya....was planning to go in to get some food which will be served at the control building at my place to appease those who are working during Raya.......So, itll only be appropriate to bring in something ...and Alhamdulillah that the cake jadi.....

Ive become addicted to 1 Tree Hill ....... have been watching reruns over and over again.....If you watch One Tree Hill regularly, you would know the drama surrounding the main characters ie Lucas, Peyton, Nathan, Haley etc. Now if you watch Season 5, Lucas is no more with Peyton and with Lindsey.....long story short, he wants to marry Lindsey, after proposing to Peyton some time ago and she refused it due to being young and afraid although she really loved Lucas. So, anyway, on the wedding day, Lindsey says no to Lucas coz she feels he is somehow still in love with Peyton, due to the chemistry they shared.....i actually cried watching Peyton crying to Lucas saying "i do" to Lindsey......Heartbreaking......so, yeah, i went to east coast for breaking fast and hunted for season 6 and found none...maybe its not even out yet.......DAMN!

Anyway, just gonna leave you with this ; part of song that i used to hear before and i unearthed again today....

Searching to feel your soul
The strength to stand alonethe power of not knowing and letting go

Indon song fan?

I used to not hear Malay songs....I used to think that they all sound the same...i sorta still do but these days, im hooked on to Indonesian songs.....their songs and lyrics are just awesome,...easily tuning to the beat of my mood and matching my current emotions.........This is a new one from Samson...It sums up quite a number of things....

Lirik Lagu Samson - Tak Bisa Memiliki
Apakah yang engkau cari
Tak kau temukan di hatiku
Apakah yang engkau inginkan
Tak dapat lagi ku penuhi
Begitulah aku
Pahamilah aku
Mungkin aku tidaklah sempurna
Tetapi hatiku memilikimu sepanjang umurku
Mungkin aku tak bisa memiliki
Dirimu seumur hidupku
Dirimu seumur hidupku 3x

We stood next to each other. We were playfully fighting. We were annoying each other as we always do. You looked so happy. And then with one of your question and my one answer, you chose to not reply. Several smses later, you still didnt reply. I know you read the email. It was meant to annoy you. Since, i still cant figure out if you, have anything for me, i decided to send that email to him and cc you, just to see your reaction. You are always giving me mixed signals. But when i checked my email this morning, you didnt reply my email . You saw me and you gave me a look that said that you were angry with me. I emailed and asked you if you were ok because it bugs me when you are not ok. It wouldnt take a genius to know why. It bewilders me even more when you dont reply my smses and emails , because i don't know the reason for the cold treatment. Did i give you an answer that you didn't want to hear? Or is it because you felt i chose him over you? What is it? You are a fool if you think i chose him over you. You should have just told me what you wanted to do, and i wouldnt have done it the way you wanted it. Instead, you choose to penalize me for something i don't even know i did wrong. But now, it seems like that is the only reason possible for this anger of yours. I waited for you, you didnt show up and i figured it must be because of that. You cant expect me to understand the language of silence. Next time, just tell me. I didnt choose him over you. i don't know why you keep feeling that i am giving him extra attention. He is just an interesting personality to hang out with. He is just that, nothing more. You should have known, you are different. I will never......i could never.......i just followed them. And i thought that sms was enough to persuade you to follow. Apparently, i just left you alone and followed my own desires....I am so sorry....don't do this to me. If only you could decide what you wanted.......

**If only the writer sent this letter to the person she intended to....it would have been great to see the outcome**

Quicksand......get me out of it!!!!!

How do you know that the shoes you bought yesterday was better than the 1st one you tried on? How do you know that you should have eaten chicken instead of fish for lunch? How do you know whether you should have turned into the right lane, instead of the left one? How do you know????? Which is right??? Why is it right????

We all can choose....right or wrong, only fate can tell.......Sometimes , something so right for you, can be so darn wrong and vice versa. The question is , how do you know?

And the next question is : If something is sooo right, what if you can't get it? What would you do? They say, if something is meant for you, let it go, and itll return to you. If it doesnt, it wasnt meant for you. But when do you start letting go??? Now? Today? Tomorrow? Next month?

i am suffocating in my own thoughts.....i am not understanding the matter when i should be able to. Am i in denial? Or am i being forced to be in denial because things have suddenly changed....what is it? Help me! Get me out of this Quicksand..........

Slept at 4am last night after watching France being trashed 4-1 by Holland. I've always liked
Dutch footie but i've also admired French footie and was quite astounded by the 4-1 result. Oh well, complacency does a lot fo things to you.....so i guess domenech has to do something about it , else he will be getting the boot from the French football bigshots anytime soon. Oh well, time to focus on my heroes ; Spain =D........Spain VS Sweden.....that should be easy....come on! The Torres and Villa duo cant go wrong.....or at least i hope not.......

So woke up at 11am, had my bath.....went out for lunch with my galfrens. Then we were at Berjaya Megamall, shopping, checking movie tickets, shopping, and shopping.....That's what women do best....A local Sex and The City episode......As we were exiting the mall, i realized that i misplaced the parking tix, so had to go all the way to the groundfloor, pay the fine, get a new ticket and exit the lot. Then we got tickets for Kungfu Panda at 10pm at Teruntum and right now im updating this blog as i wait to leave the house for the movie........*taking a deep breath*....sometimes your flow of thoughts feels like speaking a long sentence without pausing........so time to take a deep breath ;).......

So, do i want to say anything about the Blue Saturday? Indeed, despite a filled time table today, i was still thinking about that something almost every 30mins. I guess thats why they say a man can be detached from emotions and just think with his mind and leave the external factors such as memory out but a woman thinks = emotion+memory+current factors.......So it is difficult to think without remembering something even if you dont want to remember it.

And he isnt making it easier by ignoring me. Maybe he feels guilty, maybe he doesnt want me to remember the fact that i like him. Like hell no, i will and cannot forget it but if he was his usual self, he will make me not think about it, as ill at least have my old friend back. Him trying not to speak to me too much in front of our others, or being terse, or not being as friendly with me as before, or lookign down at the floor and walking past me , completely ignoring me, isnt making me feel any better......In fact, it is torturing, annoying and hurting me soooo much, i think i am being a menace to myself when i see him. I look at him blankly but i inside, i am shouting at him, "Talk to me like you did before, for godsakes...i am not going to fall dead at your feet.....i take a no......i just spoke my mind because i thought you cared enough to understand me.....if i knew you were going to run away or ignore me ( even if you are doing it for me), i would have never told you in the 1st place.....but i would have secretly fancied you all the way.....which would have hurt worst..."

Anyway, i hope things go back to what they were before.....the friendship, the laughter, the fun times.....i can learn to love a friend the same way.......

Time to go watch a movie...and to anyone who reads this entry, dont forget to watch Spain in action at 112pm tonight......if you support Spain, you support me and Fernando Torres! :P

Blue Saturday.......

So, i finally told him that i liked him. His reaction? Can't because he has a gf. I never knew he had a gf, but then again he is personal about his life and i certainly respected him enough to not ask any of his mates about his personal life. If i was mean, i could have asked, so what about the extra attention that i got? But then i just told myself, maybe he just felt good around me, which i did too around him. Also, i wasnt about to lose a friend who makes me feel good and happy around him. I liked the person, i liked who i was when i was around him. And i thought..........being a good friend that he is, if there wasnt such feelings on his part, we will continue being what we were.......

BUT....that is not exactly what happened......not sure if he was shocked or what, but what i know is that he said it was a mistake for me to confess because it is unconventional for the female to confess to the male. I wanted to scream out loud : "Times have changed.......Someone needs to tell someone to take it to the next level.....does it matter who???.....and this is my 1st time confessing to a guy...." But i didnt..........

He has been acting a bit strange since then......sounding less nice.....which hurts badly because i didnt expect it to be this way.....i am the one who confessed, i am the one who should be acting weird, and he is a guy, for godsakes.......but oh well shit happens.......and i hope he goes back to being himself.......i dont want to lose a friend over this........

Dictionary of the words and actions of the "Male Species"

I want to say : "I think i like you...."

I need to know what he'll say...........

Men are so difficult to predict and interpret........Words....Actions.....Body Language........

Mars VS Venus.........Male VS Females....the language is so different......It's like Chinese VS Tamil...........

Should i tell him? Should i ask him? For once, i feel like this is right.......OR is it?????

Can someone help me interpret him?

Theme song for this month** :-)

Andra and The Backbone Lirik - Sempurna
Kau begitu sempurna

Dimataku kau begitu indah

kau membuat diriku akan slalu memujimu
Disetiap langkahku

Kukan slalu memikirkan dirimu

Tak bisa kubayangkan hidupku tanpa cintamu


*Janganlah kau tinggalkan diriku

Takkan mampu menghadapi semua

Hanya bersamamu ku akan bisa


Reff:

Kau adalah darahku

Kau adalah jantungku

Kau adalah hidupku

Lengkapi diriku

Oh sayangku, kau begitu

Sempurna.. Sempurna..


Kau genggam tanganku

Saat diriku lemah dan terjatuh

Kau bisikkan kata dan hapus semua sesalku


My Current Thoughts

I was looking far beyond the mountains, looking for that something that brought a smile to my face, that made me feel good and i saw it. But i only saw it, i wasn't able to reach it and i probably will never be able to touch it. But suddenly , the sun shone very brightly illuminating EVERYTHING around me and i saw it again.......and this time it was much much closer.....But whether i can still reach it and touch it remains a question but i am certainly closer. :-)



Hint : White or any other color ? - White :-) :-) :-)

Theme song for the week, month.....

Ungu - Cinta Dalam Hati :-)

mungkin ini memang jalan takdir ku
mengagumi tanpa di cintai
tak mengapa bagiku asal kau pun bahagia
dengan hidupmu, dengan hidupmu
telah lama kupendam perasaan itu
menunggu hatimu menyambut diriku
tak mengapa bagiku cintaimu pun adalah bahagia untukku,
bahagia untukku
ku ingin kau tahu diriku di sini
menanti dirimu meski ku tunggu hingga ujung waktu ku
dan berharap rasa ini kan abadi untuk selamanya
dan izinkan aku memeluk dirimu kali ini saja
tuk ucapkan selamat tinggal untuk selamanya
dan biarkan rasa ini bahagia untuk sekejap saja

Obsession about blood type? Life? Goal?

My current obsession :

Type B blood Traits:
Cheerful, Optimistic, Active, Sensitive, Kind, Forgetful, unorganized, Noisy, Egocentric Energetic and have the drive to reach towards goals. May be workaholics. Not the best team players and are individualistic. Do things at one's own pace. Strong personality adventurous. Likes to get one's own way. Are Sociable and enjoy entertaining. Like to touch or be touched by others.People with blood type B are the most practical of the blood groups. They are specialists in what they do. When they start a project, they spend extra time understanding and trying to follow directions than others might. When they are doing something, all of their attention is focused on it. They tend to stick to a goal and follow it through to the end, even if it seems impossible. They tend to be less than cooperative, as they like to follow their own rules and their own ideas. They are individualists. B type people pay attention to their thoughts a little more than their feelings, and therefore can sometimes seem cold and serious.People with blood type B are often considered more relaxed, freewheeling, and unconventional than other types, although not necessarily to an unacceptable degree.

My Current Thoughts :
Where is life taking me? What are my goals? Are they still the same? It is strange how the mind works; how you change directions and goals based on momentary emotions. Currently, i have one person influencing my mood at work. And i hate this feeling of being "controlled and monitored". I like free fall. I like to fly. Tie me and you basically get this lifeless, creativeless being. Unless if i have romantic feelings for you, i wil hate you for tying me. Even if i do have romantic feelings for you, you can only tie me in the sense of being protective or to a certain extend possessive of me, which i will love you even more for. But if you do this to me, when i don;t have any feelings for you, then you will find me withdrawing or being nasty to you....human beings are complex beings. But yes, coming back to this person, he is "killing me softly". Overbearing, commanding, nag.....i can go on....i can't work in his presence. I just can't!!!! Was starting to get use to him and actually felt like i could get use to his overbearingnes but suddenly, he has become worst. Run Shahreen, run! In Hindi, it will be Baago Shahreen, baago. :P

My Current Feelings:
I like my life now minus some issues at work. Convincing myself that "If you like something, let it go and If that something is meant to be yours, itll come back to you". What if it doesnt? What if it is wrong? What if you feel sth is missing from your life, when you let it go? What if you know, that you should let it go, because it CAN'T be yours?....Maybe not you, but this feeling of wanting you is what i should let go...That sounds more realistic since i never had you in the first place, for me to let go....If it was you, i would have chosen the sexy bike and the guy....:P

Ok, i guess it's true to a certain extend that Blood B's are neurotic....lol....the paragraph above summarizes that. Anyway, lets move on to the wishes for the day.....

My Wishes for today :
1) Sufiah Yusof returns to her mum safely while her dad stays away from her. People make mistakes. they take wrong roads and turnings, but it is never too late to change roads and take the right turnings . Sufiah Yusof needs to know, that she still has that option and what she did wasnt wrong because many things drive people to do many things that aren;t always applaudable.
2) I wish Luis would be ok soon. I miss him and i hope for his speedy recovery. I miss riding you yaar!
3) I wish that people will learn to appreciate everything that they have around them. All we have left is this earth. If we lose it, then we lose EVERYTHING! (Familiar?...National Geographic channel....i am after all an avid WWF fan)
4) That i wake up early tomorrow,in a positively good mood.
5) I learn to save money more effectively, so that i can make the Kawasaki Ninja 250R mine =D....pray for me yaaa???

The best read that ive ever read about a Gemini......

The best read that ive ever read about a Gemini....and i am a living proof that it is absolutely true!!!!......ive even highlited the parts that i know are true.

GEMINI


The symbol for Gemini is meant to resemble their ruler, the Twins Castor and Pollux. Castor’s father was the king of Sparta, Tyndareus, and Pollux’ father was Zeus. The twins’ mother, Leda, was a bestiality slut who loved swans way too much. Castor died, Pollux got lonely but couldn’t technically die because he was half Greek God, and Zeus felt bad for him and let him rejoin his brother in the heavens. Can anybody say “co-dependent?” Who knows, maybe the twins were lovers…but wouldn’t that technically be masturbation?Gemini is ruled by Mercury, the planet of intellect and communication. You can usually spot one because they’re either talking way too fast or wearing much too many accessories.
That scene in Don Juan de Marco where Johnny Depp (also a Gemini) kisses that lady’s hands by working his way up from her fingertips to her knuckles to her… Oh damn! SO hot, and would melt any Gemini. Hand massages, wrist tickling, manicures, all big turn-ons for the twins. Even that creepy handshake-finger-palm trick makes the Twins blush a little. Both of them. However, if you really want to leave a lasting impression in their underwear, you have to tickle their… most private… most intimate…most throbbing and fatigued muscle… their minds. That’s right, nothing is better for a Gemini than good, stimulating conversation. It’s not even a matter of talking dirty, you have to talk dirty with style and wit. There’s a trick to it. After all, every Gemini enjoys a good mind-fuck (no boys, don’t try to stick it in their ear… that’s just gross).

Famous Gemini hotties include Judy Garland, Marilyn Monroe, Bob Dylan, Melissa Etheridge, Bob Hope, John F. Kennedy, Nicole Kidman, Angelina Jolie, Morrissey, Anne Heche, Miles Davis, Mike Myers, Allen Ginsberg, Sandra Bernhard, Prince, Tom Jones, Boy George, Natalie Portman, Elizabeth Hurley, Kylie Minogue, Gene Wilder, and of course, Michelle and me! Noticing a trend? Yes, everyone on the list is either bisexual, a queer icon, or at least has had some sort of incident where they were hit on in some locker room by someone of the same sex when they were in high school. Why you ask? I think it’s because Geminis are so open-minded, and also as mentioned earlier, they accessorize so well. No, the real truth of the matter is that Geminis are flirts and talkative, and will engage anybody with their stylish use of words themselves. These people can be bisexual, bicoastal, bilingual, and can have mood swings biweekly. They need two of everything, and can be double the trouble.
Rumor has it that Geminis can even be two-faced and hypocritical, but in my experience, the duality of Gemini is expressed in their two very distinct moods. They can be divided by intense introversion and extroversion, happy-go-lucky spontaneous natures and methodical anal-retentiveness, or simply their bipolar personality of extreme depression and darkness followed by their elation and effervescent laughter and sense of humor. Unfortunately, they also change their minds easily, and can be all about someone one day, and then totally over them the next. And when the door to the Gemini’s heart is shut that usually means it’s over forever. They rarely look back because they’re too fixated on going forward faster, while doing two things at once. That’s just how their mind works, always concentrating on what they’re about to say and not what they’re actually saying in the moment they say it… which can get them into trouble. But unlike their polar opposite, the Sagittarius, they can usually charm their way out of anything they accidentally let slip. Unlike their Taurus neighbors on the astrological chart, devotion in a love relationship is not an ethos many Geminis subscribe to, unless you find a way to really, and I mean REALLY, earn it.
Now for what we’ve all been waiting for…

Gemini and Gemini
If these two (shall I say four) ever find a moment to shut up, then they’re usually having sex. However, you can be in the room with them, and not even notice that they’re having sex, because they could be disguising the fact that they’re having sex by pretending to be talking about some profound world issue, or musician, but be aware, they’re not conversing. Its foreplay, and you’re a voyeur caught in their sick little game, and you should look away soon because he’s about to stick it in! It’s almost like the twins in The Dreamers. They were twins, but also definitely Geminis (look at their trivia fixation and mind games… so typical). The Olsen twins are Geminis too… ahhhh…. naughty thoughts…..

Gemini and Cancer
It’s like that song in Heathers, “Teenage Suicide… DON’T DO IT!” Well, you can do it for a while until the whiney “I just want to stay home and cuddle” nature of the Cancer drives Gemini’s “I just want to go out and party” nature up the freaking wall! Plus, Gemini has very little patience and wants instant communication, but Cancer usually takes a little while to figure out how they’re going to phrase things so as not to hurt anyone. By the time Cancer figures out what they wanted to say and how they wanted to say it, Gemini is onto someone else.

Gemini and Leo
Um, it works all the time. Gemini is a smooth talker and Leo loves hearing great things about him or her self. Leo also wants a harem of groupies, and Gemini is often so many people in one person that the groupie wagon is nicely rolled into one person… the Gemini. Gemini will also masterfully know when to say things to Leo like, “You’re so brilliant,” or “You’re so hot,” or “You’re so big!” Leo will be loyal forever to someone they consider that honest and observant.

Gemini and Virgo
These two share a ruling planet, Mercury, and will communicate pretty well. Not many can stand what some read from Virgo as frigidity, but Gemini dissolves that quickly because Virgo and Gemini will communicate thoroughly through any issue. Also, Virgo will appreciate Gemini’s wordy explanation and logic on why they have to have sex as often as possible. Virgos love logic and Geminis love getting into someone’s pants! They’ll probably use big words in phrases in bed like “Oh baby, your blandishments makes me want to accrete with you so hard…”

Gemini and Libra
Libras and Geminis are so civilized around each other. They can be best friends and true lovers; however, when Libra gets all sarcastic, and Gemini matches their tone, Libra will get all hurt and resentful because they can’t take what they dish out. Gemini will have to make it up to them by writing them a love poem or an intense email or text message, and then all will be well in the world. Also, Libras like to feel like they are making love and that their lives are rich with romance, and Gemini is creative enough to keep that spirit alive.

Gemini and Scorpio
This combination happens A LOT. I don’t really know why, but it does. Geminis are magnetically drawn to Scorpio’s energy. Scorpio is attracted to Gemini because Scorpio loves mysteries and they want to solve the mysterious layers of Gemini’s personality to finally figure Gemini out (an impossible task). Also, they are pretty bound by the amount of sex they have. Scorpio also allows Gemini the freedom of exploration and perversity as long as their relationship has a healthy amount of trust and commitment (just think Dan and Rosanne).

Gemini and Sagittarius
When these two fight (and they will because they’re polar opposites) they will immediately resolve the fight with sex. Randy, jovial sex that seems almost like an Olympic sport. These two experiment and laugh a lot, and are always down to travel the globe and have sex in as many places on Earth (or in public) as possible.

Gemini and Capricorn
*Sigh* In my experience, this combination happens a lot too, but when it doesn’t work out, it’s usually because Capricorn gets frustrated with Gemini because they don’t take Gemini seriously enough. These two rarely, if ever, fight. They’ll resolve their disagreements, but never actually fight. Gemini can be drawn to Capricorn’s gloomy and earthy nature, and Capricorn can admire Gemini’s intellect and diplomacy. Sometimes, Capricorns get paranoid that Gemini is making fun of them, and nothing makes a Capricorn angrier than being made fun of or being made into the fool. At their core Capricorn is a very serious and formal creature.

Gemini and Aquarius
Great friends and a very kinky pair. Gemini might get frustrated sometimes because only Aquarius can beat Gemini in the disconnected nature and intimacy issues department. However, once they work through that (which they have a good chance of doing) they will be first in line for a bondage night or whipped cream fight. These two love to play with the master-slave dynamic (Gemini because it appeals to their playfulness, and Aquarius because it appeals to their slavery and subservience issues). These two can watch Secretary over and over and over again, and find it as wholesome as apple pie.

Gemini and Pisces
They might find the same problems as the Gemini/Cancer combination, but they have a bit more in common since they’re both mutable signs. If Gemini can stand Pisces’ self-defeating fear and lack of ambition or if Pisces can stand Gemini’s impatience and occasional cruelty, then they have a chance. Pisces just has to shut up sometimes and be slapped around to have a good time. Gemini will be the first in class to raise their hand for that assignment.

Not the right one...

And the drama continues........so, as requested by my mum, i went to meet her friend's son. Of course, ive met the mum before, and i have to say she is one cool person and apparently finds me a very interesting personality ????...I thought i was a boring person.... Although, i was totally not in the mood for going on a blind date, i did, to satisfy my mum. It wasnt exactly a date....meeting i would say...since both mums were present. The guys was ok..fitted the criteria, mature,had the height, smelled good and supposedly was "intelligent" ie not smart as in book smart but street smart. He did look like a possible Hindi movie actor. Not the leading role, but a supporting one. Unfortunately, nothing intelligent came out from his mouth. I was told that he was quiet and shy but i think that was an understatement. He was MUTE!!!!...It was basically my mum, his mum and me talking the most, with me being my usual self, laughing and being overexcited. And he was mute!!!!! Damn , was it annoying. I should have asked for his star sign before i met him...Non Libra/Leo/Geminis arent accepted.

Once it was over, when we got into the car, before i could even ask my mum what she thought, she said, 'he is not your kind'. And i just smiled as a sign of victory! =D She added ,'He will not be able to handle your kind of energy and spirit'. And i was contented. =D

So end of that drama. Anyway, i just got back from KL and am aiming to be in office at 7am tomorrow. We shall see if i succeed. Gudnite!

Jauh.....

Appraisal tension is finally over.....yippee!!!.....Someone asked me, seems like you are aiming for a 2......and i said, you can't aim for a 3 because, if you fall short, you will fall to a 4...but if you aim for a 2, even if you fall short, you will only fall to a 3. Well, sometimes, effort is not recognized if you are a nobody, but i decided to put that aside and really focus on my ppa as opposed to midyear.

Enough about PPA!!!

Girlfriends are awesome! They just left after watching a movie at my place.....release of tension after 1 week of doing the above. While i was sleeping when they were here, once that they have left, im wide awake.....and when i am awake, not focused on something, i think a lot!!!! Hence, the following lyric....If you have heard of this song, you will know what a great song it is :

Bila bila kiranya diriku perlu
Hari yang murung
Terdengar nada yang riang ria
Sekali suara meyakinkan jiwa
Kaku langkah mengaguminya
Kaku menerimanya
Selagi bahuku Memikul bebannya
Selagi hayatku Merasa siksa
Selama senyuman Menjadi senyumku
Ku bawa wajahmu
Walau diriku jauh…
Jauh…

Forced into something i am unsure of.....

If you know an indian muslim family well, you will definitely know that marriage is a topic that will definitely be brought up when you pass 23, especially if you are a girl. Lately , my dearest madre' has been getting on my back about this matter. Her exact words, "I dont care if you bring any guy, whatever color as long as i know you have someone, then i wont bother you. But now, that you don't have anyone, it is my duty to make sure you meet guys so that you get married by 26." Crash Boom Bang!!!!!!

Have you ever heard that it is a sin to not have a boyfriend??? Well, now you have. With things going pretty ok at work, i am not sure if marriage at 25 will be a good idea especially since all the guys that she seems to be nominating are those settled in KL and not coming from a family that is willing to have a daughter-in-law who travels back and forth fr kuantan to kl. Crash Boom Bang!!!!!

Yes! Crash Boom Bang....it really is. Been having arguments with her about this. MyStand ? : Give me two more years or so, till im stable and i shall do whatever you want me to do OR bring me a guy who is willing to be a weekend husband or let me be a weekend wife. Then, i guess i can do marriage at 25. Else, leave me alone for 2 more years or so, and then we shall talk marriage.

At this point, i really wish i could find a guy working in Petronas, in Kuantan or Kertih , so that distance wont be a problem. SIGH!!!!! Unfortunately, there aren't many available guys that i am romantically inclined to and the few that i am, are all taken. :( So what can Shahreen do?.....NOTHING!!!!!

Aaaggghhhh. Why does life have to be difficult? When you finally know what you want in life, it gets more difficult.....ive been a dreamer all my life....ambitious to make it to the top.....I was at the top when i was in school, a pretty ok student, a head prefect, president of the science club, played sports etc. When i was in uni, i was involved in some stuff, but not that much, but i liek to think that i never gave up no matter what i did and how difficult it was. When i graduated, i told myself, that when i start working, i will make it to the top eventually. And of course to make sure that i am married and have kids (I love kids!!!!) and balance my life between family and work. And that is my goal. Call me a dreamer or over ambitious but i would like to give it a try. Ive been known to be a highly motivated person when i really want something bad. When i first joined, i become demotivated after a few months due to me not fitting in at work and thinking that too much politics and nepotism will not get me to the top. But thanx to a few people, they made me realize that i could do it and that i should strive for it.( Not to mention the great people around me now who make each day at work a GOOD day! :) )Which made me realize that , if i wanted the success that ive been dreaming of since childhood, i will have to start now. And that is exactly what ive been doing. And Alhamdulillah, i think things are going pretty ok now.

But skaranglah, my dearest mum has to bring this up....aaaghhh....what am i to do???? Any suggestions???

Did someone say holiday???

Errr....yes, someone did say holiday. I am going on a "forced holiday" tomorrow ie today at 10am in the morning. To Bangkok. Worst of all is , i really dont mind not going due to the amount of work i have left stranded at office and plus the fact that'll ill be missing my first CI. :(.....Plus these days, not going to office even a day makes me miss it, most probably due to the fantastic and amazing people around me. They make me smile everyday! :)

Today was a mad rush. And as expected, between finishing my work and getting to the bus station at 8pm to get on the bus to kl, i missed the bus by 4 mins and the inconsiderate driver left. So i had to stick around another 1 hr to wait get on the next bus. So, i spent my time, smsing my close friends who i havent wished, valentines wishes. And wondering about a few others.....someone told me today this: "my marriage is like driving a car in kl". And i asked myself, yes what do you do when the road that you have chosen has bad traffic and it seems like it might take a whole day to reach a destination which is just 5 minutes away. Have always asked myself this question coz I am an erratic Gemini and many have told me that my ever changing mind and desires could make my life very "interesting". When they tell me this, i always think of what i would do, if i was in this situation because it is quite difficult to keep me interested. I was also told that i needed to find a Libra who can keep me grounded and interested. I have to say that ive met very few Libras but its truly amazing what they can do to a Gemini. It is not easy to convince a Gemini, i can tell you that, and if person can do that, then they are "it" :). Its not like i swear by horoscope but there is some truth in it. Anyway, coming back to the earlier question, Do you try to get out of that road and get to another road which will take you there in 5 minutes, not knowing whether you will be forced to face other obstacles on that road....or will you just turn the volume up and try to enjoy the 24 hrs ride to the 5 mins destination? Difficult eh? Ive given quite some thought to this and i have to say that, there isnt a right and wrong decision. If you are not going to be happy during the 24 hours ride, and you could possibly get to your destination in 5 mins using a different route, then why the hell are you still on the same road? At the same time, what happens if you get on the 5 mins road and in the last 2 minutes, you face a traffic which will take you another 24hrs to reach that same destination?....

I think ill die not knowing what the other roads can offer me, so 70% chance ill be switching roads.....its an individual's decision. No right or wrong......

With that, HAPPY VALENTINES DAY to you!


FRIENDSHIP AND LOVE
Love starts with a smile, grows with a kiss, and ends with a tear.
Don't cry over anyone who won't cry over you.
Good friends are hard to find, harder to leave, and impossible to forget.
You can only go as far as you push.
Actions speak louder than words.
The hardest thing to do is watch the one you love, love somebody else.
Don't let the past hold you back; you're missing the good stuff.
Life's short. If you don't look around once in a while, you might miss it.
A best friend is like a four leaf clover: hard to find and lucky to have.
If you think that the world means nothing, think again. You might mean the world to someone else.
When it hurts to look back, and you're scared to look ahead, you can look beside you and your best friend will be there
True friendship never ends.
Friends are forever.
Good friends are like stars....You don't always see them, but you know they are always there.
Don't frown. You never know who is falling in love with your smile.
What do you do when the only person who can make you stop crying is the person who made you cry?
NOBODY IS PERFECT UNTIL YOU FALL IN LOVE WITH THEM. (Isn't that the truth?)
Everything is okay in the end. If it's not okay, then it's not the end.

Settled in my mind, of what you are to me......

So the confusion has left me and clarity has found me. But now that i have defined who you are, you have stepped back...... :( .....what you will be is a good , good friend. Someone who i can trust and fall back for support. Hopefully, you will be there when i need you. Although, i will not be able to completely erase my romantic feelings for you, but i know i will be walking along a neverending path. aimless. It is better for me to think of you, this way, because at least, ill have you forever with me as a FRIEND. You probably dont even know what i am talkign about if i was to tell you, but it's ok, they always say that men are clueless when it comes to sensing a woman's feelings. And a woman is always complicated as she can feel too many feelings at once.

On a happier note, today is Sunday!!!!!!!...futsal practice at 10, then lepaking with my galfriends....looking forward to a day filled with laughter and fun. We have a tournament tomorrow, and we are kind of nervous about it. Wel, we are amateurs at futsal and we will probably be playing a bit haywire. But i look forward to it, as this is the beginning building a strong futsal team. Hoping to compete next year and ace-ing it. ;)

Happy Weekend !

What is this ******* called?

Confused to the point of wanting to knock my head on the wall to clear things up. Hahahahah....if only it was that easy.

*Pretending that i am writing this to him*

You call me, talk to me for 45 minutes and then you tell me that you find this other girl great? What is wrong with you? That is the worst thing to say as i feel like slamming down the phone and never picking it uup again.. Is it that you dont sense that i am starting to grow some feelings for you? Is it that you are dumb? It is not that i intend to like you or like you despite knowing that you are unattainable ( you know why) but i cant help liking you due to the situation and my vulnerability as a woman. Believe me, only i know how much i tried hating you and looking at you in a different way......Right now, i cant do it until i get some justification from you......to clear my head........as in am i liking you for the right reason or am i liking you while you are just thinking of me as a very good friend?...i can't make up my mind

I am utterly confused.....

Calling for the weather man again!

Killing me softly with his words...killing me softly with his song....

Why are you doing this to me? Damn, am i confused....i am growing to like you more and more by the minute. But yet im confused of what i should be feeling for you. And of what you think of me?

Are we just good friends? Are we more than that? Do you have something that you are hiding?. I can shout out from the rooftop and say that you never fail to bring a smile to my face and you lift me up so high from misery.

What are your intentions? Please be truthful with me. Ill accept anything that is honest right now as im confused. Although i would like to hear what i want to hear, but honesty is a gold coin at this moment.

You words, your voice, your compassion and your interest in me tells me that i can't just be a friend?. Maybe a real good friend???? Come what may, i know i'll never be able to get you and you know why....I just want you to know that if i had the chance i would have.....but the time has passed , i guess???

The weather man or weather woman rather came!

So regarding the previous entry, the weather woman came and helped clear the air. Thanx Rami! ;) She advised me on the "simbiosis" relationship. So no matter, if he might be using me, which i hope he is not, i am still gaining something from it. So it is a win win situation. :)

Matters of the heart sometimes are confusing but at times, you just have to step out of it and analyze the situation and think, feelings of compassion and care are not ALWAYS the main thing. It is also about doing the right thing, and the right thing must be something that brings some benefit.

Therefore, although i would have preferred it to be an honest and sincere thing, i guess i have to see it in a way that brings benefits to both parties and if it is bound to make both happy, then why not?

Life is a long road home. Anything can happen anytime. Live a detached life. A life with no strings attached and therefore you will only feel the gravity pull and nothing else that compells you to sway anywhere else but towards the gravity.

Coloured or Black & White? *This lass is Confused*

Intentions…….good or bad……change the way you look at something. A good intention can change a black and white film to a coloured one while a bad intention will do the opposite.

When you can’t figure out a person’s intention, you can’t bring yourself to love them or care for them as you would like to. You become confused; you become wary of your every step and his or her every step.

What do you do? Do you continue being wary and minding your every step or do you let it go and trust your instinct and the love or care you have for that person?

You are confusing me……im confused of your intentions……im confused if you really care or if you are just acting along…...im confused of my feelings for you…...im confused with your actions and reactions towards me……im just confused.

Someone help…I need to clear my head. There is a whirlwind inside, the rain and storm are coming and going with the sun making its occasional appearance. Calling for the weatherman!!!!!

What stands between black and white?...It's a grey area

Is being single all that bad? Are we singletons suppose to feel bad about not having a partner in life? Does that give people the right to assume that we are not interested in being married, we are too caught up with work, we are confused with our sexuality...etc. These are only some of the comments ive heard people make about the singletons. Why?

Why is it a sin to not have a life partner or a fiance? Why?

I personally havent found the right person. Better still, all the right people ive met are always taken by another desperate female not wanting to be single because it is oh so bad to be single. Ok no, it's not fair for me to make that statement but really...

Everyone has requirements; tall, thin, fat fit, slim, fair, dark, etc. It is perfectly ok to find a partner who meets these requirements. I mean of course don't intend on finding one who meets 10/10 of these requirements but 5/10 is legal.

Rather i think it is commendable tha some of us singletons actually would wait till we get the right one to be made as a life partner, because it shows the importance we place on the marriage institution. It's not just settling for the sake of settling.

So, long live the singletons, go find for that guy/gal that is meant for you. Dont be disheartened by what people say. marriage is alife long commitment. You don't want to be an older man pining for a young girl's attention or an older woman looking for the energy of a younger man. So, go find the best!.