As days pass, i'm becoming more disillusioned with my life. For one, i believe that life is too short and it shouldn't be spent doing things that you are not happy to do. Of course, there is the "You can't never get everything you want". Yet, there is such a thing called risk and sacrifices. The only question that needs to be answered is, are you willing to take the risk? Are you willing to sacrifice?
These days, my life seems to be filled doing things that i don't really want to do. I don't like my job and it is killing me.....whoaaa....there you go!!!!...i finally got it out of my chest.....And doing something i don't like day in,day out is killing me softly.....lol...dramatic. Life has become a mundane routine. Waking up at 7am to go to work is a torture. Mind you, not the waking up but the thought of going to work and facing/doing things that don;t really mean anything to me. Even things that i can learn from don't mean anything to me. More often than not, when my colleagues ask me about what i have learned, i have nothing much to say because there is just no passion/interest in what i do. I know it is sad, and believe me , i wish i can change that but i can't. I used to be a person who would give her all to anything and everything that she has been given to do. It has all changed now. This one year has changed me in many ways. I don't even try to give my 100% thesedays....as long as work is done, im done. 2 years ago, that would have been a no no...I just wish that those who need to know this , will know it. Keep me another year where i am right now, and Shahreen = No creativity + "Couldn't give a damn" + Bitter
Those who talk about perseverance and strength, i have a few things to say to you :
First of all : Strength is being able to face the truth and choosing what you really want to do in your life
2nd : Strength is about being able to stand up tp people and saying, "No, this is what i want to do"
3rd : Control your own destiny or someone else will. Jack Welch
4th : Looking at all the above and the talk on perseverance , let me say that, policies.philosophies and beliefs are subjective. Bluish Green might look blue to you and green to me. Therefore, all these talks about "being able to persevere and face big challenges indicates a good leader" are just mere words with a little conviction. Without your belief and conviction, there are just mere words. A good leader knows what he wants and works towards that. How about that?
No one can come and tell you to like or do something that you really don't have any interest in doing.
So, choose what you want to do with life. It is short.
Tuesday, August 14, 2007
Sunday, August 12, 2007
More Ramblings
The euphoria,
Sends fluttering butterflies along her skin
She feels light, she feels giddy, and brightness surrounds her
Even nothingness carves a smile upon her face
She feels like dancing, gliding, floating
She feels like a daffodil moving to the rhythm of the wind
In her mind, she is happy…..
She can choose not to be…
But she chooses otherwise…
The mind is but the most powerful tool.
It can interchange between reality and fantasy
It can control you.
But choose to control it.
Choose happiness in moments of sadness and frustration…and you will find yourself wearing a smile even in moments of despair just like her…..
Sends fluttering butterflies along her skin
She feels light, she feels giddy, and brightness surrounds her
Even nothingness carves a smile upon her face
She feels like dancing, gliding, floating
She feels like a daffodil moving to the rhythm of the wind
In her mind, she is happy…..
She can choose not to be…
But she chooses otherwise…
The mind is but the most powerful tool.
It can interchange between reality and fantasy
It can control you.
But choose to control it.
Choose happiness in moments of sadness and frustration…and you will find yourself wearing a smile even in moments of despair just like her…..
Sunday, August 5, 2007
Love Is? Love Not?
The intensity of fire is unexplainable
The depth of love is immeasurable
The strength of loyalty is unfathomable
The force with which the heart holds on to another
Is above all incomprehensible
The bright flame of fire is alike the intense feeling of love
The pain is felt
With all that you have, will you be able to give….
Love…..is but a mystery
No, i haven't fallen in love yet...wrote this after listening to a cousin pour out her feelings of love for *wink *wink* to me. It's just amazing how much love a person can feel for another. I'm not embarassed to say that i have experienced a one sided love for this guy once. Never did i tell him that i liked him . But i don't regret it either because it would never have worked out anyway. Yet, this so called one sided love is nothing as compared to the love my cousin feels for *wink*wink*.
The power of emotions.....love, not lust. Feeling this much love, perhaps to some would be a great feeling but the thought of it , is sort of scary. Perhaps, someday you would, i would.....till that day arrives, i can only liken that feeling to a mere crush or maybe even lust that one can feel for the opposite sex, which i have felt and feel from time to time. After all, as long as you are single and unattached, why not, right?
Just a few days ago, i was having dinner and chatting with galfriends. And like all single girls, we were talking about what men look for in a woman. How some men can love one and marry another? How some men claim to get bored with their wife after several years of marriage? Coming from a partially conservative background, i've watched mothers who have pushed their daughters to get married by the age of 25 , just to avoid from the harsh critics of the society or just to shut the mouth of older "uncles" and "aunties" who keep asking the 25 yr old girl, "When is your turn?". I'm not sure if it is the best practice for a girl to marry a guy, despite him having all the right qualities, just in order to satisfy the society. Marriage as some people say is a gamble but, i feel that a marriage based on love, care and understanding between 2 individuals is the foundation for a great nation as most of often than not, a solid marriage produces the better individuals who form the future of as nation. Therefore, every man and woman in this day and age, needs to assure that he or she knows her spouse well and subsequently form a mutual understanding between them. Marry a person whom you feel comfortable with, one who you know would take care of you, one who you can count on , one who you can love unconditionally, one who you can have mutual understanding with, and above all, a person who can bring a smile to your face for everyday of your married life. Sounds idealistic huh? well, who said life was easy.....Almost everything is attainable, but there is a price you have to pay for it. Marriage is the same....You need to make it work.
Anyway, enough about marriage.....When the time comes, i shall know what is right or wrong or should i say who was right and who was wrong. I actually just came back from attending a wedding, so that must be the reason for the current topic. LOL....
Enjoy the written piece below....Ultra sweet....Practice it and i'm sure you'll have a bloody awesome married life. Hahahahahah....
Luv U?
Message:
When U Were Only 5 Yrs Old,I Said ILuv U...U Asked Me: "What Is It?"When U Were 15 Yrs Old, I Said I LuvU....U Blushed.. U Look Down AndSmile..When U Were 20 Yrs Old, I Said I LuvU....U Put Ur Head On My Shoulder AndHold My Hand.. Afraid That I MightDissapear..When U Were 25 Yrs Old, I Said I LuvU....U Prepare Breakfast And Serve ItIn Front Of Me, And Kiss My Forhead NSaid : "U Better Be Quick, Is's GonnaBe Late.."When U Were 30 Yrs Old, I Said I LuvU....U Said: "If U Really Love Me,Please Come Back Early After Work.."When U Were 40 Yrs Old, I Said I LuvU....U Were Cleaning The Dining TableAnd Said: "Ok Dear, But It's Time For UTo Help Our Child With His/HerRevision.."When U Were 50 Yrs Old, I Said I LuvU....U Were Knitting And U Laugh AtMe..When U Were 60 Yrs Old, I Said I LuvU....U Smile At Me..When U Were 70 Yrs Old. I Said I LuvU....We Sitting On The Rocking ChairWith Our Glasses On.. I'm Reading YourLove Letter That U Sent To Me 50 YrsAgo..With Our Hand Crossing Together..When U Were 80 Yrs Old, U Said U Luv Me!I Didn't Say Anything But Cried..That Day Must Be The Happiest Day Of MyLife! Because U Said U Love Me!!!!!!!
The depth of love is immeasurable
The strength of loyalty is unfathomable
The force with which the heart holds on to another
Is above all incomprehensible
The bright flame of fire is alike the intense feeling of love
The pain is felt
With all that you have, will you be able to give….
Love…..is but a mystery
No, i haven't fallen in love yet...wrote this after listening to a cousin pour out her feelings of love for *wink *wink* to me. It's just amazing how much love a person can feel for another. I'm not embarassed to say that i have experienced a one sided love for this guy once. Never did i tell him that i liked him . But i don't regret it either because it would never have worked out anyway. Yet, this so called one sided love is nothing as compared to the love my cousin feels for *wink*wink*.
The power of emotions.....love, not lust. Feeling this much love, perhaps to some would be a great feeling but the thought of it , is sort of scary. Perhaps, someday you would, i would.....till that day arrives, i can only liken that feeling to a mere crush or maybe even lust that one can feel for the opposite sex, which i have felt and feel from time to time. After all, as long as you are single and unattached, why not, right?
Just a few days ago, i was having dinner and chatting with galfriends. And like all single girls, we were talking about what men look for in a woman. How some men can love one and marry another? How some men claim to get bored with their wife after several years of marriage? Coming from a partially conservative background, i've watched mothers who have pushed their daughters to get married by the age of 25 , just to avoid from the harsh critics of the society or just to shut the mouth of older "uncles" and "aunties" who keep asking the 25 yr old girl, "When is your turn?". I'm not sure if it is the best practice for a girl to marry a guy, despite him having all the right qualities, just in order to satisfy the society. Marriage as some people say is a gamble but, i feel that a marriage based on love, care and understanding between 2 individuals is the foundation for a great nation as most of often than not, a solid marriage produces the better individuals who form the future of as nation. Therefore, every man and woman in this day and age, needs to assure that he or she knows her spouse well and subsequently form a mutual understanding between them. Marry a person whom you feel comfortable with, one who you know would take care of you, one who you can count on , one who you can love unconditionally, one who you can have mutual understanding with, and above all, a person who can bring a smile to your face for everyday of your married life. Sounds idealistic huh? well, who said life was easy.....Almost everything is attainable, but there is a price you have to pay for it. Marriage is the same....You need to make it work.
Anyway, enough about marriage.....When the time comes, i shall know what is right or wrong or should i say who was right and who was wrong. I actually just came back from attending a wedding, so that must be the reason for the current topic. LOL....
Enjoy the written piece below....Ultra sweet....Practice it and i'm sure you'll have a bloody awesome married life. Hahahahahah....
Luv U?
Message:
When U Were Only 5 Yrs Old,I Said ILuv U...U Asked Me: "What Is It?"When U Were 15 Yrs Old, I Said I LuvU....U Blushed.. U Look Down AndSmile..When U Were 20 Yrs Old, I Said I LuvU....U Put Ur Head On My Shoulder AndHold My Hand.. Afraid That I MightDissapear..When U Were 25 Yrs Old, I Said I LuvU....U Prepare Breakfast And Serve ItIn Front Of Me, And Kiss My Forhead NSaid : "U Better Be Quick, Is's GonnaBe Late.."When U Were 30 Yrs Old, I Said I LuvU....U Said: "If U Really Love Me,Please Come Back Early After Work.."When U Were 40 Yrs Old, I Said I LuvU....U Were Cleaning The Dining TableAnd Said: "Ok Dear, But It's Time For UTo Help Our Child With His/HerRevision.."When U Were 50 Yrs Old, I Said I LuvU....U Were Knitting And U Laugh AtMe..When U Were 60 Yrs Old, I Said I LuvU....U Smile At Me..When U Were 70 Yrs Old. I Said I LuvU....We Sitting On The Rocking ChairWith Our Glasses On.. I'm Reading YourLove Letter That U Sent To Me 50 YrsAgo..With Our Hand Crossing Together..When U Were 80 Yrs Old, U Said U Luv Me!I Didn't Say Anything But Cried..That Day Must Be The Happiest Day Of MyLife! Because U Said U Love Me!!!!!!!
Friday, August 3, 2007
Effects of late night thinking
Was doing my usual friendster updates. Checking out the online wedding cards that i received..the wonders of technology....simply amazing.
Effects of late night thinking :
Randomness of thoughts occurs,
Turbulence it creates in the mind,
The heart is at a conflict,
Doubt surrounds the mind,
Clarity it is seeking,
Locating a candle in pitch darkness,
The search is never ending,
There are unforeseen ups and downs,
Lucidity, it will attain
When the hand encloses upon the candle,
A faint light appears with a promise of a better vision.
Effects of late night thinking :
Randomness of thoughts occurs,
Turbulence it creates in the mind,
The heart is at a conflict,
Doubt surrounds the mind,
Clarity it is seeking,
Locating a candle in pitch darkness,
The search is never ending,
There are unforeseen ups and downs,
Lucidity, it will attain
When the hand encloses upon the candle,
A faint light appears with a promise of a better vision.
Wednesday, August 1, 2007
Random thoughts
I pray for this feeling of utter hopelessness to end
I pray that I find you sooner than you find me
I pray that the rough waves in my mind subside
I pray that I always know my next step
I pray that He gives me the courage to make the final decision
I pray that tomorrow’s sun will be brighter than today’s
I pray that with every minute that passes by, I am getting closer to my final destination
I pray that every relationship in my life is as solid as a rock
I pray that ill find someone who loves me enough to be with me till I breathe my last breath.
I pray that He will allow me to find Him before I do more injustice to myself
I pray that I won’t have to be praying for all these forever.
I pray that I find you sooner than you find me
I pray that the rough waves in my mind subside
I pray that I always know my next step
I pray that He gives me the courage to make the final decision
I pray that tomorrow’s sun will be brighter than today’s
I pray that with every minute that passes by, I am getting closer to my final destination
I pray that every relationship in my life is as solid as a rock
I pray that ill find someone who loves me enough to be with me till I breathe my last breath.
I pray that He will allow me to find Him before I do more injustice to myself
I pray that I won’t have to be praying for all these forever.
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