The most negative of entries

This is probably the most negative of all my entries. There i was, hoping against hope that my appeal for a transfer to KL would be granted by my current management. I go see my manager and i tell him,"I don't like my job. I want to do something else. I am losing interest and it is not good for the section." And to my satisfaction, he says,"I won't stop you. I'll bring this up during the "XXXX" meeting and let them know of your intentions. Pray that it goes well." I walk out of the room , smiling and thinking , 'Thank God my boss understands me'.

2 days ago, i receive 2 phone calls from 2 of the subsidiaries that i had applied to and they informed me that my wonderful HR rejected the offer and didnot want me to leave. It was difficult to digest but i took it as i expected it to come. Today, a little birdie tells me that it was the-above-oh-so-sweet manager who blocked my exit. Yes, the sly creep. I use to have some respect for the fellow, but now i have zilch. I would have taken it well, if he had told me himself that he could not allow me to leave and not give me all the hope and then backstab me. I hate him with all my heart.:(

I can't foresee myself being here another 2 years. I just can't. Nothing wrong with Kuantan. It is just me. A colleague who treats me well when he wants to and keeps indirectly or directly emphasizing that "i am not good enough", a boss who couldn't care less about what i want, a manager who backstabs me, "some" technicians who don't seem to treat me like a superior due to my lack of knowledge and gender......why do i need this? I DON'T. I hate my job. I hate the bureaucracy. I hate the politics and the work ethics. I hate the mindset and the subtle racism. AAAAAGGGHHHH. Am i asking for too much?

On a happier note, i have made some very good friends since i started working at ***, without who, i would have become insane here. Thank peepol! * BIG HUG*

Also, the past week has been too funny. A guy managed to make me like him in 3 freaking hours. 3 hours!!!! That is a record breaking time. Unfortunately, he has someone and i was building castles in the air. Sometimes, i wonder, do men make you swoon after them intentionally, or otherwise. I think the former. It seemed like he was trying to tell me that i was more than a normal friend by opening up to me about his entire life.....I thought i had become a good friend. And i would have liked that but instead a few days later, he ignores me. And i am wondering, why? Well, i shall leave it at that. Although, i have developed a crush on him,I am not going to throw myself over him , like "others". But i have to say, some men definitely seem like that;Attention deficit creatures.

Time to leave Starbucks and head home. ZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ